That Blissful Noise

I fell in love with trains. Train journeys to be precise! My everyday journey to office. A journey that will never last more than twenty minutes. But how did I begin to like this travel? Not because I like trains. I started liking the travel for the rhythmic sound that is typical of any train journey. The thadak-thadak rhythm. This rhythmic sound belongs to Rupagam class of raga from classical carnatic music. Later, I learnt it from The Silent Raga, a poignant story of a rebellious woman and her sister. Thanks to Ameen Merchant!

In a fast moving train, leaning against the window, facing the wind that brsuhes my face lifting the curls of my drooping hair way above my forehead, I found peace. Peace that engulfs me when I drown my confusions and frustration into the energising rhythm of the suburban train. The thadak-thadak sound of the train that shuts out those issues which constantly linger on my mind. The problems that never leave my mind, constantly demanding me to find solution with an immediate urgency. The rhtyhm, speed, and wind take me to a completely different world. Then I asked this question to myself many times. Is this how a white noise would sound like? Feel like? I know it is stupid. Hailing from a reputed engineering institute, I am making a fool of myself by this question that invades my mind everytime I stop, and listen to the rhythm of a moving train to get a relief from my constant worries. Like an energiser. To energise myself to pore over my worries again afresh with renewed strength. I went ahead and asked couple of my friends. They laughed at me! What else did I expect? But I know what white noise is! I came to know of it, few years back, from an interview by a debutant diector on her new film titled by the same name. White Noise. When the frequencies of all the noise match! A layman’s understanding. I want to move myself away from science. As far away as possible. Particularly if it is physics. I chose to understand just this way.

And then yet another question in my mind. Is white noise blissful? If the noise I am fond of even remotely resembles (I know I sound like a fool!) then white noise should be blissful. Even otherwise, these rhythmic patterns blanks me out from the confusions, frustrations and fears. So, definitely this noise is blissful! I am tired of constantly being at crossroads.Too tired. This twenty minutes energiser keeps me in control. Many times and many days. And when the train reaches Guindy, I get down and take my way to the road and wave my hands at an auto. And here, exactly here, my battle and frustrations for the day would begin.